


Hesitation

by Space_Rock_Enby



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, F/M, Music, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, pre-Steven Universe Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22915909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Rock_Enby/pseuds/Space_Rock_Enby
Summary: Pearl and Greg's blossoming friendship could end forever when something from Pearl's past comes back to haunt them.
Relationships: Pearl & Greg Universe, Pearl & Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz/Greg Universe
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	Hesitation

[ ](https://ibb.co/7SFyM88)

_Falling out, falling in_

_I didn’t know how to just begin_

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

_Falling out, falling in_

_I didn’t know how to just begin._

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

_My life became change and pain_

_And nothing stayed the same_

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

_There was a war in my heart_

_And it tore my life apart_

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

_Falling out, falling in_

_I didn’t know how to just begin._

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

Greg let the final note hang in the sweetly warm breeze drifting in from the ocean. He turned to his musical partner with a grin. She returned it and even let out a little whoop of joy. They were good… no great together. Her technique on the bass was perfection, solid, perfectly timed and emotive. It was a great counterpoint to his looser (some would say sloppy) freeform (some would say unrehearsed) style.

“Oh wow, Pearl. You killed it.”

Her brilliant blue eyes went wide, “Oh. Oh no. I’m so sorry. Can we revive it?”

He couldn’t help but laugh, “No, that means you did amazing. You’ve gotten so good on that… bass,” he had to stop himself from mispronouncing as she did. It had started to become a habit during practice.

“Well thank you, Greg. Despite your flaws, you are a surprisingly good teacher.”

“Uh- thanks? I think?”

Greg sat down in the back of the van. The sky was bleeding out a violet hue as dusk approached. He reached across some old magazines and struck a few switches with his finger. Gentle yellow lights winked on along a string of bulbs over their equipment. A gift from Peridot who stated that it almost certainly would not produce lethal levels of radiation to humans. Greg made a mental note to follow up with her about that.

He took a moment and marveled at Pearl as she stood near a monitor tuning her instrument. The willowy Gem had taken off her signature jacket revealing her long arms with a sleek musculature underneath. He understood that her body was just made of solid light sculpted by force of will (however that worked), but it was pure Pearl to devote so much attention to detail, muscles, the swept-back hair, those huge blue eyes. He could imagine her carefully considering each eyelash before committing it to her form.

There was nothing deliberate about her smile that was just pure unfiltered happiness. The be honest he was still getting used to seeing her smile so much especially around him. For more than a decade and a half, he mostly saw her scowl or fret. Now, here they both were just playing music together enjoying each other’s company. He couldn’t have imagined this even a few years ago. If the rest of the Crystal Gems weren’t off on some alien moon inviting gems to attend Little Homeschool, he wondered what they would think of all this.

“Oh hey, Pearl, I was gonna a-”

The air grew salty and acidic.

There was a buzz in the air, a piercing ring of vibrating crystals just at the edge of Greg’s hearing.

Then it struck.

There was nothing and then it was just right there. A glittering carapace. A swollen compound eye filled with twitching irises. So many legs and claws. It was a blur of movement and glinting flares in the dying light. Greg stumbled back grasping his chest as his heart hammered away. His feet tangling in the cords and wires around an amplifier near him. His guitar swung down under his arm as he twisted bumping against the amplifier and producing a scream of feedback.

A displaced feeling of deja vu washed over him for a frenzied moment.

The corruption surged, a flurry of limbs and hooks. Greg screamed into the cacophony of electronic noise. Another burst of motion, this time from his side. Blue. Opalescent skin.

Pearl swung her bass by the neck with perfect aim striking the thing across its pulsing eye. The guitar exploded with a loud THWONG as wood splintered and strings snapped and whipsawed through the air. She brought the broken neck around shifting her grip to plunge the jagged wood into the thing.

The corruption lurched back, it’s crystal voice wailing. Its screech pierced through the chaos of sound. Something popped inside Greg’s head and he felt something wet and warm began to run from his nose. He watched in horror as Pearl drove the remains of her guitar into the monster’s eye, there was a wet cracking sound.

The corruption heaved its body away, blinded and enraged. Pearl spun to face Greg.

“Greg, I think something is wrong.”

She looked wane like she was about to collapse. He didn’t see any marks on her, no cuts or tears on her clothes. He just-

Oh no.

Her gem. That was what the cracking sound was. There was a divot in the center. Crack spiderwebbing out from the center. There was something faint and blue pooling at the edges where the gem met her flesh.

Blood? Do gems have blood?

Greg’s vision snapped to the hulking shape behind them. The thing lumbered around, showing it’s ruined eye, the neck of the bass guitar still gruesomely sticking out. He suddenly realized how quiet things had gotten, in his panic he had kicked out the cable from the amp. There was just a steady buzz of the capacitors inside it.

Pearl pitched forward. Greg thrust out his arms to catch her. Softly. Softly. Please don’t make noise. That thing can’t see us, but it might still hear us. She fell into him and he gripped her tightly. She weighed nothing. How could someone so slight have some much strength? The cracked gem pressed against his neck. The sharp edges of the cracks ground against him. The gem was hot like with a fever.

“Oh god, Pearl. Please don’t die. Please,” he whimpered as quietly as he could. 

He tugged her silently towards the van. Each shuffle and crystalline whine from the creature froze him in place. He hoped the thing couldn’t hear his heart beating so loudly. He pulled her up into the back and gently supporting her head he laid her down on the cot where he usually slept. Taking a breath, he reached out and shut the van doors. Slowly. Oh so slowly. His eyes never left the thing as it stomped around at the edge of their practice area. 

The was a slight click as pulled the doors shut.

The thing screamed in rage.

He didn’t know long he sat there. Arms braced against the door. Eyes screwed shut. Just waiting for it to collide with the van. Waiting for it to tear the door open and finish them both. After a while death didn’t seem to be coming for them yet. He let out a puff of exhausted breath and unslung the guitar from his shoulder. Damn, his keys and phone were sitting outside on the cooler he had brought out. Stupid of him. 

He realized he was bleeding, spatters all over his tank top from his nose. Bright red. It took him longer to realize he was crying.

“Don’t cry, Greg… Rose didn’t want you to cry about…” Pearl’s voice was strange, sing-song and slurred. 

“Uh... Pearl,” Greg spoke as loud as he dared. He hoped the buzz from the amplifier outside was masking any noise from the van but he couldn’t take the risk, “ we need to keep it down. That thing is still outside.” 

“Oh..ok..yes, that seems to be a sagacious choice of...,” she broke off into lilting giggles. The giggling continued and continued. Greg realized she couldn’t stop. He felt his chest clench with fear. He reached out to comfort her, her whole body buzzed beneath his fingers, she burned with heat. His eyes finally adjusting to the darkness of the van, he saw motes of light break free and drift away from her skin.

This was bad. They had to get to Steven or… wait, wasn’t there something in the house? Something they used to heal those corrupted gems? In the bathroom. Yes, that was it!

As if sensing his moment of hopefulness, the creature outside let loose a wail of pain.

“I thought they caught all the messed-up gems,” he said to himself.

“Not all,” Pearl said, her voice suddenly clear, “Most, but not all.”

Her eyes were open, but they looked dazed and unfocused, “I suppose I deserve this. Humans call it, karma, I believe.”

“You don’t deserve this. Nobody does.”

“I do…for what I did, or didn’t do back then.”

“Pearl, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I will explain and then you will understand and then you will run and leave me here to face things.”

Greg shook his head but she continued…

* * *

  
  


Greg let the final note hang in the balmy air of the forest. He turned to his lover and smiled. 

His lover.

His.

Pearl grimaced, her hands clenching up into tight fists as she watched them from the distance. Watched them laze around in the clearing enjoying each other’s company. The rustle of the leaves above echoed the buzzing anger and sadness in her head.

Why had Rose invited her to come along? To mock her? Was this Greg’s idea to flaunt his relationship with the gem she devoted so much of her life to? Rose had invited her to sit in the clearing and sing with them. Pearl pretended not to hear, instead announcing that there might be some war relics nearby and she would go check and see if she could find them. She shot Greg a parting look, he only looked nervous and waved good-bye in response.

Rose sat blissfully in the sunshine breaking through the canopy. Her belly swollen with the hybrid that would ultimately undo her. Pearl berated herself for wasting these dying days with her by being so petty, but her despair was too sharp. She opted to merely sit a distance back in the trees, hidden so that she could watch them. She was torturing herself, but she figured she deserved it for failing Rose. She couldn’t be enough for the great Rose Quartz, so she was being cast aside and ultimately abandoned.

She was just a Pearl after all.

Something creaked back in the trees. Movement. Was it Amethyst here to tease her? Garnet to silently judge what a sad dull creature she had become? No. There was something there. Something big.

The corrupted gem slinked its way through the trees, its hulking humpback shape hung over a body that spilled with legs and hooked arms. Pearl could just make out the baleful glittering eye of the thing, no doubt hiding its gem among the facets of its compound structure. For something so massive it moved almost silently. There was a loud strum and a voice as Greg launched into a song. The corruption’s reaction was immediate. It suddenly burst into action, launching itself towards the sound. Rose wouldn’t hear it coming with Greg wailing and making noise with his guitar. She launched herself from where she was hidden hoping to intercept it. Her spear sprung from her gem and was in her hand in a moment’s thought.

She couldn’t hope to outpace it, it was made to maneuver through the forest. Still, she sprinted, ducked branches, and leaped from fallen trees in hope of catching it.

“Rose look out!” she shouted bursting into the clearing just as the gem beast did too.

Pearl hurled herself between the thing and Rose. If it hurt her or, stars forbid, poofed her, the baby and Rose’s lives could be lost. There was just no way to know. She brought her spear around to bear. She could sense Rose clumsily scrambling to her feet.

“Stay behind me!”

Their movement attracted the corruption’s attention, it screamed its glassy high-pitched whine and launched itself at them. Pearl drove her spear point into a space between its gem shard encrusted carapace the hidden body underneath. The pain drove it off to the side as it collided with a large tree sending wood and soil flying into the air. Pearl took the opportunity to lunge for its massive eye, but the thing twisted its body around. Her speartip still met with soft flesh, but it wasn’t enough to disable it.

The corruption turned.

“Pearl, Greg!”

In the flurry of battle, the corruption had come between Greg and Rose driving them to opposite ends of the clearing. Now that it was finding out that Rose’s defender had a little too much bite, it turned toward easier prey.

Greg’s eyes were wide, teeth gritted as he held his hands high in the air, guitar still tightly in his grip. Pearl had never seen him so terrified before.

This is our world Greg, this is what you want so badly to be a part of, how do you like it now?

Rose’s shield formed over her hand, “Pearl, help Greg. Please!”

* * *

“And that’s when it happened,” Pearl said simply. The strain of keeping her thoughts coherent was showing in the tension on her face.

“When what happened?” Greg whispered, the images of that moment rushing back to him, “All I remember is you kicking that monster’s butt and it running away.”

Pearl laughed, no joy in it just bitterness and pain. It threatened to turn hysterical but she clamped her hand over her mouth in an all too familiar gesture. She watched the motes of light drift up and away from her skin for a moment before she managed to get herself under control.

* * *

_Pearl standing spear at the ready._

_Not moving._

_Not moving._

_Hesitating._

“Pearl!” Rose practically screamed.

The corruption, perhaps its wounds were too great, perhaps it changed whatever passed for its mind. Either way, it broke for cover in a flash leaving a trail of broken branches that eventually gave way to nothing. Rose left and summoned Garnet and Amethyst to warp in and help hunt for it, but they never found it.

* * *

“I hesitated. In the fight, when it turned towards you. I… hesitated.”

Greg placed his hand over hers, God, she was burning up. They didn’t have long, “Geez Pearl, it was chaos. People sometimes freeze up in those situations. It all worked out though,” he eyed the van door sheepishly, “well, that time anyway.”

“No, you don’t... d-don’t...understand,” she looked at the van’s ceiling but saw nothing, “I didn’t hesitate out of fear. I hesitated because I…”

Greg watched as tears welled up in her eyes. 

“Because I thought for just a moment if I let it get to you. If I let it… _kill_ you. I could have Rose back. I could have everything back. I could have a purpose again. I’m so sorry for what I became. My own spitefulness has come back to kill me and I deserve it. I’m just sorry that you got caught up in it, again.”

Greg sat back feeling like something had punched him in the chest. He rubbed the back of his head unsure of what to say. He knew she resented him back then and if he was honest he had resented her, at least a little, but this. The little motes of light drifting off of Pearl were beginning to grow bigger, she was letting go. He thought all this fighting with monsters and each other was finally over but it never really ended, did it?

Maybe it didn’t but things did change.

“Pearl… Pearl can you still hear me?”

“Yes,” she said blankly.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Hmmph,” again flat emotionless.

“Just a moment ago when you smashed that thing across its face, did you hesitate then?”

Nothing.

“Pearl, did you hesitate?”

“N-No.”

Greg grinned, “Did you have any thoughts at that moment that you can remember?”

Pearl lay there silently. Was she thinking about it? Was she already too far gone to respond. The wait seemed like it took ages.

“I guess I just thought about protecting my…”

Greg leaned in closer to her.

“...friend,” she whispered to him, the faintest smile crept across her lips.

“You’ve come so far since I first knew you,” Greg said carefully moving the hair away from her cracked gem, “the person you are now isn’t the person you used to be. I’m not losing my friend today and you aren’t losing yours. Do we have a deal?”

Her eyes finally turned away from the ceiling and met his, “You’d make a great Pearl, Mr. Greg Universe.”

“You can make me an honorary Pearl after we get out of here and get you fixed-up, how does that sound?”

She gripped his hand, still weak but with more conviction than he expected, “We need a strategy and a… a what do you call it?”

“A weapon?”

“Oh yes, sorry, it’s so hard to think, Steven.”

Greg didn’t correct her, they needed to focus on the task at hand, “Can you make a spear with your uh, gem like that?”

“No, I can’t access anything stored in my pearl… It’s such a mess in there now. I’m really going to have to clean-up. What do we have in the van?”

Greg looked around the pile of stuff strewn throughout the van, CDs, notebooks, clothing, a Fish Stew Pizza box that should have been thrown out a week ago, his guitar...

His guitar.

“Pearl. Pearl, “ he shook her gently, she acknowledged him but her eyes were shut, “when it first came after us back with Rose I was playing my guitar, right?”

No response.

“Then it came to us tonight while we were playing, but it really went berserk when I made more sounds with this guitar. I think that thing is a real music critic.”

Her eye cracked open ever so slightly. She smiled. An actual honest smile amidst all this chaos.

Even in this state, there was uplifting rebellious energy about her, the terrifying renegade had a plan to take down their oppressor.

* * *

Greg peaked through the dirty back window of his van. He could just make out the shape of the thing lurking around at the edges of the light. The way it stumbled and twitched meant it was hurt. Well, you’re in good company buddy. He stared, he had to make sure. It turned for a moment facing the light. He could see the neck of the ruined bass (bay-ss) guitar sticking out of its pulped eye. He turned and gave Pearl a thumbs-up. She lay propped up on some pillows and clothes, Greg’s guitar placed in her shaky hands.

“Hmm a slightly different configuration to the bass (b-ass) but I think I can manage,” she said to no one in particular. 

It didn’t matter what she played, but this wasn’t the time to argue, “Ready, Freddy?”

“It’s Pearl actually… oh, yes. I am ready. Good luck, Greg.”

Greg took a couple of deep breaths and as gently as he could opened the van door. Even the slight click of the latch sounded like a thunderclap to him. He couldn’t see the corruption ahead of him. Worrying, but you need to keep moving. Not for the first time, Greg wished he’d hit the gym a little more often as he squeezed through the opening as quietly as he could. He dropped low to the ground. Sweat pouring off of him from nervousness rather than exertion. 

In his hand was an audio cable. 

There was a sound like grinding broken glass pitched up to a high whine somewhere in the dark. Their friend wasn’t far away. Greg gulped. Whelp, here we go.

Scrambling over to the amp and behind it, he jammed the cable into the jack. The buzzing amp gave a loud click as it connected. The thing screamed back in response. Greg cranked the volume dial to 11.

“PEARL NOW!”

A heavy power chord burst to life from the amplifier, followed by another and another. Where the heck had she learned that? The effect on the corruption was instant. It shot towards the source of the noise, sand spraying out behind it as it clambered forward. Before Greg could even draw a breath it was there, reared up looming over the amplifier. Looming over him.

_“Just push. That’s all you need to do. Just push and don’t hesitate,” she had said._

Greg threw himself forward from behind the amplifier. His body, unused to all this, strained and he felt something in his leg give with a blossom of fire. Reaching up, with his hands flat he met the headstock of the bass (bay-ss) sticking out of its eyes. The few intact irises watched the motion, something almost thankful in their depths. He drove the instrument deep inside the eye.

The whole creature bucked and spasmed. It slammed into the van sending it tipping almost over before it bounced back on its wheels. There was a pause. The whole world seemed to take a breath and then the corruption exploded in a roiling cloud of vapors.

A large quartz gem dropped into the sand.

There was no time to celebrate, Greg scooped up the gem in his hand and ran to the van. The way it had been jostled and with her already hurt… he’d never forgive himself if…

Don’t think about it. Just get in there.

He threw open to doors to see her sprawled out amongst all the debris. The guitar was still in her hands. Her eyes were open but blank and sightless. The motes of light were breaking off of her in torrents. They spilled up and across the ceiling of the van casting a sickly blue glow over everything.

Greg didn’t remember running to the beach house. He didn’t remember cradling her diminishing form in his arms as he sprinted, holding her head tightly to keep the gem from cracking further. He didn’t remember the trail of blue light like ghostly blood as he ran. He didn’t remember laying Pearl in the tub. He didn’t remember tearing through the medicine cabinet for the pink bottle inside. He didn’t remember sobbing while he emptied the contents on the withered faint thing that was his (best?) friend.

* * *

Greg awoke to the smell of coffee.

He was comfortable, soft, and warm. There was a tightness on his left leg, a wrap or bandage. Another on his ear. He opened his eyes. He was in bed. Steven’s bed. A lithe figure with startling blue eyes and a perfect opalescent gem in her forehead watched over him from the foot of the bed. She realized he was awake, a little blue rising on her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, old habits die hard sometimes,” she said while looking away, “I made you some coffee. You do drink coffee, right? Steven just can’t get enough of the stuff.”

“Pearl, are you… OK?”

“Oh stars, I’m fine, that wasn’t the worst wound I’ve ever had if you can believe that.”

“Really?” he couldn’t tell if she was lying for once.

She turned back, there was just earnestness in her face,” Greg, thank you. You saved my life. You saved me from my own bad actions in the past.”

“Oh hey, I think we saved each other.”

She nodded, “I made you this while you slept.” 

She produced a necklace with a pearl placed into an intricate silver setting. The work was delicate and glimmered in the soft light of the room, “You are now an honorary pearl.”

Greg couldn’t help but smile as a few tears threatened to well up in his eyes, “Oh gosh, thank you, Pearl. He tried to sit up and put it on, but his head swum. Pearl reached around his neck and worked the clasp before helping him lay back down. He looked at his beautiful award and grinned.

“I need to make a trip out to Rose’s fountain to get you some healing tears, I guess we used all of Steven’s bottle on me last night, but I wanted to make sure you were OK first.”

It felt nice to have Pearl fretting over him, he could see why Steven was so well cared for. 

There was something on his mind from the night before, “Um… I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I did have one question, back then with Rose, that was the only time you thought about erm, you know, getting rid of me like that, right?”

The blue emerged on her cheeks again, “...I’m going to go check on that coffee.”

Greg laughed nervously and closed his eyes. He hummed to himself as he felt himself drifting back to sleep.

_But I can finally dance in step with you._

**Author's Note:**

> ** Title card made by Plastic Geisha.
> 
> **I had a notion that the effect of cracked gems is different for different gems. Quartzes and Rubies have more physical effects, Pearls might have more mental effects also the physical components are quite beautiful.
> 
> **When I started this story it was just the flashback portion, but I just kept adding to it.
> 
> **After editing it, it reads like Greg has some newfound feelings for Pearl. Not my intention but, I'll leave that up to you.
> 
> **Gem corruptions often seem to be based on animals. I was thinking something like a mantis shrimp for this one.


End file.
